The Daily Difference - Day 4: Independent Kids

Kids are kids, wherever they live. They all love to play and laugh, and occasionally they throw tantrums and exasperate their parents. I haven't noticed large differences in American children and French children except for one thing: French kids are encouraged to be independent at an early age.

Whenever I walk along the river or in the park, I notice families with their young children. French toddlers do not ride in strollers; those reserved for babies only. In France there is no such thing as an "umbrella" stroller, those life-saving devices used by American parents to transport their preschoolers. Kids here are taught to walk everywhere they go or to ride some kind of scooter.

And they start so small! Stores here sell these tiny "bikes" for toddlers that don't have pedals. They are really low to the ground so that kids as young as one or two years old can straddle the seat as they shuffle along the sidewalk. It's a great idea; they quickly learn the balance and coordination required to ride a bigger bike. By the time a child is three, he's graduated to a real bike with pedals and without training wheels.

Most French kids also get to school independently at an early age. I've seen kids of about age eight riding the metro on their own, lugging backpacks bigger than they are, on their way to & from school. I don't necessarily feel comfortable with this independence - I admit, I worry about the safety of these very young children. But in this society, it's just the cultural expectation.

In America, I'm afraid we've gone a bit too far towards the other extreme. Kids are taught to be wary of strangers and other dangers, and rightfully so -- but as a society I think we've created a culture of fear and stifled our children's ability to learn how to be self-sufficient. Greg told me just this morning of a news story about an American family under investigation for letting their elementary school aged children play in a neighborhood park without parental supervision. I don't know the details so I'll withhold commenting too much, except to say that I played outside all the time as a child, wandering freely through my neighborhood for hours without any supervision. It was just a normal part of growing up in that era.

There's got to be a balance somewhere. We don't want to put our young kids in harm's way, but we also need to let them grow up.

Now it's your turn: are you raising children in France, America, or another country? In what ways are they encouraged (or discouraged) by society or by your own parenting style to become independent? Have you noticed other cultural differences pertaining to children? I'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts in the comments section.